Welcome to the Big Top...Cue the music!

I started hearing the circus music not long after Toby was born. I'm one of those people who always has a tune in their head. I'm not sure if everyone is like that, but there's always some song or ditty, either playing in my brain or coming out of my mouth. Sometimes I don't even realize that I'm humming away until someone comments on it, or starts singing along. The latter was the case yesterday, when I was sitting at the computer at work updating patient information, and the physiotherapist beside me started singing a song that seemed like I had heard it somewhere recently...and when I asked her why she started singing it, she gave me a strange look and said that I had been humming it. So maybe I'm crazy...but I think Toby is like me too, or maybe will be one day, because he always insists on having music playing, so maybe his brain has yet to perfect it's own play button.
I've always been a fan of the Cowboy Junkies. As a moody teenager I used to hole myself up in my room and listen to a melancholy album, feeling understood with the slow lonely songs and uplifted by the slightly more upbeat tunes. And I often found a song to relate to my current circumstances, becoming almost a theme song that I could listen to over and over again....and so many of those songs belonged to one Junkies album or another. And their slow lonely music is a good descriptor of my life before I fell in love with Bruce.
After Bruce entered the picture, his eclectic music tastes rubbed off on me and I started listening to a wide variety of music...neither of us ever got into dance music, and maybe that's because neither of us have been much into the party scene. So, it's hard to say what kind of music I identified with most, but likely Pearl Jam...something new to me that I loved. I identify Pearl Jam with excitement..whether it be the excitement of a new relationship, or the excitement of getting searched and frisked for the first time ever at a concert.
When Luke came along I started remembering songs from my childhood...often trying to google the lyrics I couldn't remember. Luke now takes comfort in the song about angels that my mom used to sing me.
I started hearing the circus music soon after Toby was born. I'm not saying it's constantly circus music in my head for the past year and a bit, but it gets more plays than normal from my song list when I'm at home with the kids. I remember trying to feed Toby, (or change Toby, or desperately stop his incessant crying) whilst Luke ran amok around the house. It didn't take Luke long to realize when I was tied up and to act up accordingly.I felt like my own life was so out of control. Then I heard it "DEE DEE DEEDLE DEEDLE DEE-DEE DE-DEEEEE!" (which I've since learned is actually called "Entrance of the Gladiators". You can click the "Welcome to the Big Top...Cue the music!" title if you don't know it.) and it made me smile. Sometimes when I feel so stressed out I'm ready to explode, I quietly sing that little ditty to myself and it calms...almost soothes me. Circus music soothing?!? I know that must sound totally absurd. Like that bearded lady (not that I've actually seen one in a circus)...think of how many women love to be stared at for their appearance...and that is why electrolysis and all those other hair removal products are around...just think of it ladies, you could avoid all that trouble, grow yourself a nice thick beard and get even more second glances...I know, absurd, but amusing, like so many things in life. But that music, I think I find it calming because it reminds me not to take life so seriously...just to relax and enjoy the show. At any rate, that music...that "DEE DEE DEEDLE DEEDLE DEE-DEE DE-DEEEEE!" has become an anthem to my life right now, which, just like the music, can be so annoying that you want to pull your hair out, cover your ears and yell make it stop...but at the same time it makes you so very happy.